After four and a half years of being a mom, I am finally ready to accept that I’m never going to be the perfect mother.
You’d think I would have realized long ago that there are no perfect people, ergo no perfect parents. The ideal “mother” figure (as well as the ideal “father”) is a myth, an invention of our collective psyche. It only makes sense that I wouldn’t try to hold myself to some ridiculous, unreal standard.
But I do. Every day, I’m hard on myself for some parental failing or other. Before I became a mom, I was totally okay with not being a perfect person, but once kids come along, you tend to put more pressure on yourself to be better.
One of these days, N and S will realize how flawed a person I am (if they haven’t already). They’ll probably react like most older kids and be mad about it for a little while. I can only hope they know how much I love them and how very hard I try to be a good mom.
At the end of the day, that’s what these girls have — a good but far from perfect mom. A mom who gets too upset when her daughter isn’t going to sleep an hour after bedtime and later has to apologize for yelling. A mom who gets stressed when she’s running late …….and later has to apologize for yelling. A mom who checks her work email a little too often on her iPhone. A mom who forgets to apply the right medication occasionally (whoops!). A mom who lets her baby fuss a little in the high chair while she’s trying to get dinner on the table. A mom who does the dishes but gives up on finding time to do the laundry.
And that’s just in the past 24 hours.
Since I’ll never be perfect, I’m just going to keep reminding myself that THAT’S OKAY. Each person in our family has their own individual flaws, myself included. But hey, as a group, we’re actually pretty darn good. Maybe that’s how I should look at it — our family may be flawed, but IMHO, pretty perfectly so.
you are perfect to me babe. :*
This is just what I needed today! I am feeling the pressure, wishing I would have handled a situation at home a little better. I am not perfect and I need to keep reminding myself of this fact. Thank you for your post.
I totally hear you. We moms (and dads) put so much pressure on ourselves every single day. After I wrote this post I thought of a dozen more things I could have added to my list of “imperfections” just for today — but it can be a relief to take a step back and realize that, overall, we’re doing all right!!