Burning out, and lighting back up

After this weekend’s “mom-meltdown” (see my blog post/outburst, I don’t want to be “mom” today!), I’ve been wondering — what led to this? We have a good life and everything is going fine right now, knock on wood. Why do I feel burned out?

I place a lot of pressure on myself at work and at home, but that’s nothing new. I’ve done that my whole life. It seems that sometimes I handle the pressure better than other times.

It’s worth it to me to figure it out. Not only will I feel better, but my family won’t have to endure the rude, short-tempered side of me that I cringe just thinking about.

As providence would have it, there’s an article in Business Week called How to Avoid Burnout. The author is referring to burnout at work, but since I am a work-from-home mom, I figure it can apply to feeling burned out at home as well.

The piece attributes burnout to smoldering resentment. Usually when people are burned out at work, it’s because work causes them to miss something personally important to them, like a weekly dinner with friends or a child’s school recital.

This makes sense, and it seems like something I can apply to my home life. Am I feeling burned out at home because I’m missing something in my personal life? Something that I need in order to feel like ME, and not just MOM? It seems reasonable enough. Now what’s missing?

Embarrassingly, the daily activity I enjoy — and because I recently gave it up, I miss — is browsing online shopping sites. My particular addiction is Zulily, where I can find clothes for me and the girls, home goods and gifts all at a great discount. I’m a junkie for the site — which is why I need to stay away for a little while.

Hopefully I can find another fun activity that takes my mind off real life and helps me feel like me, but doesn’t break the bank.

And hopefully, by doing a little of that thing each day, I can avoid burnout — and really feel like me again.